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Most of my mates know I am an anglophile.  I have a collection of Union flags, books on UK English, and loads of English sitcoms on DVD and VHS.  I used to record programmes such as Vicar of Dibley and Keeping Up Appearances off of PBS every weekend when they would have “Britcom” night.  My favorite, though, is Are You Being Served?

I truly wish I could go back to the 1970s and write for the BBC.  I have written some fan-fiction regarding Are You Being Served? and so far it has all been adored by other fans around the world.  Sadly, the show ended because the writers “ran out of ideas”.  I and others call this absolute rubbish.  It is my secret and fervent desire that time travel becomes a reality or alien space craft will descend from the sky and take me back through time, space, and even reality, to 1975 London, so I can write for the BBC.

Silly, I know, and perhaps impossible.  But I truly believe that anything is possible.  Who knows?  Maybe I will get a visit from some Magratheans tomorrow who will take me where I want to go.  Just…if I do suddenly come up missing…don’t tell anyone where I went!

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I used to joke with my mates and tell them, “My mum says I’m special!”  This would almost always get a chuckle from them.  It is true, though.  I am special.  I have my own unique traits that make me who I am.

I have been told I have very expressive eyes.  They are dark brown with a green band on the inside.  My hair is also brown and very soft, thanks to a daily vitamin tablet and good shampoo.  It also grows rather quickly because of that vitamin tablet!  Ever hear the excuse “I’m not fat!  I’m big-boned!”  Well, I can testify that I do, indeed, have big bones (although I am rather hefty) and I have the radiographs (X-rays) to prove it.  I am also quite strong physically, especially in comparison to many fellow females that I know.

Aside from my physical characteristics, I have a quick wit and broad sense of humor.  I love to make people laugh and have found a way to reach a larger audience: through writing.  I have written a book, a satirical fantasy called The Brood Chronicles.  So far it has been well received.  I hope to keep writing, as I am rather good at it, and keep making people laugh for many years to come.

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When I was growing up, my family was very close to my father’s brother and his wife.  Uncle Mark and Aunt Sarah adored us and Sarah would sometimes take my brother and I off Mum’s hands so she could go see kids’ movies without feeling awkward.  They lived (and still live) in the woods, on land that Sarah’s family owns and now have their own son, Ian, who is now seventeen and off at university.

In the last few months I have begun bonding with my aunt again.  She is into “extreme couponing”, which she uses to help a local food pantry.  I go with her to help, as she has limited mobility and gets confused sometimes.  We go on Wednesdays to some chain supermarkets and walk out with over five hundred dollars worth of food and supplies, often for a third of the price.  These get donated to help families in need, although she does keep a small amount for her own pantry.

During our jaunts we almost always stop at Publix, which has a very small section devoted to English goods.  I take a bit of cash with me and usually get a bottle of Ribena (concentrated blackcurrant juice) and a package of biscuits.  They’re a bit expensive, as they are obviously imports, but these along with the fun I share with Sarah are what make my Wednesdays very special.

This past weekend was New Year’s Eve, and I was sick.  I am still recovering from a nasty bout of sinusitis that started just a few days before New Year’s Eve, which rendered me a snot-filled, coughing wreck.  Fortunately, antibiotics and guaifenesin have relieved most of my symptoms so far.

I would have liked to have spent New Year’s Eve with some friends, but aside from my illness I also had a book to release on Amazon Kindle.  I stayed up until midnight, as I could not sleep, anyway, and submitted my first book, The Brood Chronicles, Book One: The English Legione.  The next day I did some editing on some articles, made some notes on my second book, and generally was disgusting.

Throughout the years I have noticed that a lot of problems stem from humans that pry into the affairs of others.  Person A disapproves of Person B’s faith or Person C’s dietary habits or Person D’s sexuality and throws a wobbler about it.  But why?  How are Person B, C, or D affecting Person A?

I can understand if Person B was abusing her children or if Person C was drinking so heavily that he could not keep a job, that Person A would want to help.  If Person D was depressed to the point of suicide, I should hope Person A reached out to her.  In such circumstances, interference would be good.

However, if Persons B, C, and D are doing no harm to themselves or anyone else, why does Person A feel that he has to “correct” these people?

I like my privacy, as do so many others.  I would love to be able to do what I like in my own home without worrying that Person A will come in and tell me “No!  You can’t do that!  God/the federal government/the state/the county/I forbid it!”  If I could change the world, I would have everyone mind their own bloody business and leave each other alone.  Gay rights would no longer be an issue, gossip would be less likely to ruin lives, and bullying would be practically non-existent.

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If you were to look at the collection of music I own, in both CD and mp3 form, you would see I have a variety of genres on hand.  Rock, pop, metal, and folk music make up much of it.  Although I despise country and rap, I do have a few songs here and there that I admit to enjoying.

When I was a child, I grew up listening to the Beatles, Elton John, Eric Clapton, the Moody Blues, and a lot of what most people would call “classic rock”.  As I grew up I continued to enjoy these musicians and many more that had the same distinct sound.  Upon entering middle school I was immediately outcast for admitting I loathed rap, hip-hop, and R&B.  Many of my classmates would crank up such music and I would have to leave the room, usually enraged.  Nickelodeon played enough of that infernal racket, forcing me to switch channels or mute the television.

I am thirty years old now and have branched out into heavy metal as well as folk music by lesbian artists.  Still, I take much pleasure in switching on a turntable and putting an old vinyl record on to play.  Nothing can beat the sound quality, in my humble opinion.

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When I was twenty-one, I gathered the courage to drive from north Georgia all the way to Saint Clairsville, Ohio, in the Ohio Valley.  I had a pair of friends there, one of which, Ken, was an assistant manager for a hotel.  He acquired a room for me that was very inexpensive; I believe they called it an efficiency room, as it had a mini-refrigerator, a small electric stove and oven, and a steel sink for washing up.

I was very hesitant to go, for I was all by myself and I had only known this couple for about a year through the internet.  I had very little idea of what to expect.  We had a jolly time, though, and I became quite close to Ken.  He and his wife even purchased a cake for my twenty-second birthday, which occurred while I was there.

I returned to Ohio twice a year for a long time to spend time with my friends.  Unfortunately, I am unable to drive any longer, rendering me unable to visit the Buckeye State.  Hopefully I will be able to regain my vehicular mobility soon and can go back to the Ohio Valley.

If anyone hands me a $1000 gift card, I should hope it is for a computer store, preferably Tiger Direct.  I love computers and have a small collection of older models that I have repaired and upgraded over the last ten years.  My current PC was given to me by a friend, who did not realize that its poor performance was due to several virus infections.  I have since cleaned it up and it runs very well.

Despite the fact that my machine is much newer than my elderly Dells, it is still not quite what I want.  This is a desktop and I would love to own a laptop.  I have seen some lately that are running with over ten gigabytes of RAM with extremely powerful processors.  Although I do not currently need so much power, it would be nice to have it, anyway.  I have seen some incredible Sony Vaios that would definitely meet my standards.  Pity, as I do not possess a gift card with $1000, nor have I won any sort of shopping spree contest.  Back to drooling…